Weight: 154.5 lbs - middle of the day BECAUSE

 

I slept in! Not on purpose of course, but my phone rang at 5:35 am and I just knew that I was supposed to be teaching my boot camp and I was not. What an awful feeling. I apologize ladies once again. I will definitely be making it up and I hate missing a day of working with you. So so sorry, I feel super bad.

 

I can recall a few moments over the last 7 years where I have slept through something important and I can still sense that awful helpless feeling. In my second year of University I slept through a final exam. I woke up screaming and crying because I had no idea what to do. Then, when Heather and I went to Europe in 2005 we slept in one morning and almost missed our bus to the train station. We packed up our stuff in about 37 seconds and decided that personal hygiene was not a priority. It was a lovely 4 hour train ride, we were so gross! Then one time when I used to open World Health Gym at 5 am, the power went out and my alarm didn't go off - I got the phone call at 5:10 am and again, just that sick horrible feeling!

 

It was a good run. It happens about once every two years or so, so I must be good now until around 2011!

 

Tomorrow I get to actually sleep in for real! I have nothing scheduled, just plans to go to hot yoga, run, and a movie. Whatever fits into the rest of the day will be a bonus. No work, no classes, not even Gymboree.

 

July already tomorrow. Unbelievable! But it's a time of new changes and routines and I am ready for it!

 

Weight: 153.5 lbs

 

Mmmm Water! So much water... and of course I didn't take pics this morning so here are 10 pm pics after finishing 10 litres of water! Lovely! Makes me look forward to cutting my water out!

 

I am super tired and am heading to bed. Big day tomorrow starting with Boot Camps, then a shoulder workout, posing, cardio, a leg workout, work and hot yoga... do it while I can! No time to spare now.

 

Weight: 154 lbs

 

At this time next week I will be going to bed after a long day of 2 year old birthday action! My friend's little one turns two this week and since we are both competing on Saturday we are getting very excited for this birthday party as a double celebration for her little guy as well as a welcome break from the competitive season!

 

Cake, drinks... mmm! Soon enough! For now though, the focus is on Water and Chicken!

 

My friend Mel and I did some shopping yesterday with my little man. Shopping is so much more fun when you are in contest shape! I had to buy shorts because my ones from last summer are ginormous and I bought sizes 4 and 6 rather than 8 and 10. I also found a dress in about 5 minutes because I liked it, tried on a size 6 and it fit perfectly with even a bit of room around the waist for some post-contest 'fill'!

 

I really have to appreciate how nice it is to not be depressed or frustrated with clothes and shopping, because now it's easy. If I don't like something it's not because I look fat in it or it doesn't fit.... which is such a crappy feeling. It's nice NOT to feel that way and I am grateful for it. I need to focus on that and not the last ten punds I want to see gone.

 

Pics from today - water loading deplete begins!

 

Weight: 155.5 lbs

 

Last week of my competitive season! I know it'll be a tough week in terms of the eating. I hate not having my sweetener, it's the worst part! I am allowed diet pop on Wednesday before I drop my water, so I have planned to go to a movie with a friend and chug a huge one!

 

It's kind of bitter sweet to be closing the season. Placing wise, I wish I had done better, but on the plus side I am very happy that I was able to get my body to the place it is at right now after the journey it has been through and I finally feel like I have found a balance where I will not balloon up ihn my off-season. On a regular basis I would like to keep my weight under 160. Obviously I will be a bit softer while I am not dieting as hard as I have been, but at 165 it'll be time to cut out my 'little ' freedoms.

 

But now I am focussed on this WBFF show. I am hoping my weight will come back into the 140s this week by the end of the deplete, I am happy with where things are a week out. Pics are from today after eating and showering. I don't have the abs back quite yet, but that'll be part of the water drop. My front legs are starting to come in, my butt is starting to come down again and hopefully the back of my legs finish shaping up before the show. Small changes, but visible to a critical eye.

 

 

Weight: 157.5 lbs

 

I missed a day of blogging but I assure you I am still around! I had an extremely chaotic day and night last night and am slowly but surely catching up on all of my work and getting things in their final order for the week.

 

News is coming hard, fast, and big lately! Everything seems to be very major! Some of it is exciting, some is disconcerning, but it is never boring!

 

I just had a playdate with two Moms that I met at Mom and Baby class when Michael was young and I was a class addict! It's been a while since we've got together and right now they are both expecting again and one of them is expecting TRIPLETS! I couldn't even imagine! What an adventure that will be!

 

I am NOT expecting. Nor do I plan to be any time soon, so when you see my bloated belly in August it is most likely the bloat from my European vacation! I got all of my travel documents today which made it very exciting and so soon... July 15th we leave! Wow!

 

One more week until the end of contest season for me. Last show is July 4th, the WBFF Alberta Championship in which I will be competing in Figure. It would be nice to come down a bit harder this week, I still feel like I am not quite there right now, but at least my body has somewhat recovered from last weekend's show and I am actually ready to deplete and not forcing it.

 

Weight: 158 lbs

 

Finally feel as though I have released most of the water retention. I still look washed over, but I don't feel like I have water pressure trying to explode out from my body. I am still loving the diet right now, protein shakes = happiness. They really do. I look forward to them! I am not having them starting Sunday for a final week of depletion, but if they can hold me off until then I will be a happy happy girl!

 

I am adjusting my suit as we get closer, today I took in the bottoms, tomorrow I will be adjusting the top and sewing in some padding to give a bit more shape. No point in posing in any other suit from now until the show, just have to make my body look right in this one!

 

Weight: 163 lbs

 

The pounds are going in the right direction - still way up, but I am feeling fantastic today. My calories are low but I am not JUST eating chicken, cucumber, and asparagus. I am really enjoying the protein shakes and even though the one I have is only 100 calories, when I get one 4 times a day it is such a treat and a relief from what I was doing before. I have no temptation to cheat, my energy is way up, and although this strategy wouldn't have worked to get me down in the first place, now that I am trying to get BACK down, it seems to be doing the trick.

 

Better enjoy the process! It'll be over soon and I will be in my off-season!

 

Also, I have decided upon a different purple suit for this show. A bit flashier in the material, not necessarily the bling. I think it is suitable for the type of show I am doing and I am confortable moving in it which makes it good for the Catwalk part of the show.

 

Getting pumped now! Off to run on an incline and then training with Karma! I'm sure she will try to kill me once again, I need it though - 11 more days!

 

 

Weight: 169.5 lbs this morning.

 

I really considered not sharing that in this post as it was a discouraging hit first thing in the morning, but I've put everything else out there through this prep and this is the reality of the 'contest rebound'. So have I truly put on almost 20 lbs of fat since I left for Edmonton? Of course not. But in the process of going to a temporary extreme in terms of the depletion, dehydration, and loading process, my body is in a chaotic state of rebellion and as a result the scale is up - WAY UP! It's a combination of water retention, loaded muscles, and overspill of fluids in my body.

 

This isn't my first time going through this gaining, I am back on plan today for a final two weeks of contest prep so it will surely go back down. But I have been in a situation where the immediate weight gain put me in an emotional and frustarted frame of mind and as a coping mechanism I continued to eat for spite and just gorge myself back to my pre-dieting weight within days.

 

Please competitors, don't do this to yourself, your body is in a temporary state of shock. For your overall well-being get back on a plan and take a step back from the extreme you just put yourself through to enjoy food and exercise in a healthy and sustaining way. Respect yourself!

 

I enjoyed my new eating plan today, I am doing mostly protein shakes to hopefully reduce the volume and calories of my overall diet and I get two meals of chicken and vegetables. The shakes are awesome as is sweetener in my coffee. Little things can really be satisfying when you go without!

 

I am excited for the WBFF show. No expectations as I expect this show to be just loaded with competitors, it would be nice to finish the season off with a good showing and a good look. I feel calm and receptive to this show. Definitely not as intense as I felt prior to this weekend.

 

I am doing a lot of a cardio but I also have to take time to get some other stuff in order. I am scheduling all my workouts and work as much as I can in the early morning, late night, or during Michael's nap. I've missed being a Mom as much as I used to be prior to this month. My little guy is getting so big so fast and in this selfish sport I chose I have been particularly busy the last couple of weeks and I just want to get as much time in my day with him as possible. He's so funny and is truly at a 'testing' stage which is interesting to me because as a coach I know that every kid reacts differently to discipline strategies and nown i am being put to the test with my own little devil! I don't give in! We have some pretty intense staredowns but he usually ends up knowing the right thing to do. 

 

And why not still take pics - partly to prove that 169.5 isn't as bad as it sounds! No bikini today though - we'll let the water retention settle down a bit! Oh and I have to do a 'catwalk' so I am trying out some different poses for that so I don't look stupid on July 4th!

 

 

 

I'm swamped with work after my two days in Edmonton competing at the 2009 ABBA Figure Provincials, so this entry will be short and sweet!

 

I was somewhere between 6th and 10th I believe, definitely not top 5, so I do lose my bi for Fitness Nationals and will be returning to the Provincial level next year. I knew this going in, I am not at all upset or disappointed. Figure is certainly not my category and this experience certainly gave me a chance to experiment diet-wise (which means screwing up sometimes! - never again will I do two shows a week apart!) But I also stood on stage with girls who are top ranked at the highest Provincial level for their physiques in a Province that is top-notch for producing IFBB Figure Pros. Every little deficit on my body was magnified by the sharpness and conditioning of these top bodies and although this world can be draining and frustrating, I am super pumped tonight thinking about next years contest prep! Ha ha! I'm addicted!

 

My physique has always been my weak point. In Fitness you can buffer that with the routine and usually it's a smaller class to be up against and compared to. In the end this show kind of forced me to really face my demons and put myself out there to be critiqued at a higher level and standard. Sometimes you have to face your weaknesses which can be scary, but I think this will make me better later on in the big picture.

 

My new favorite Figure Physique is that of Jen Flontek who won the Tier 2 Figure Tall category. Wow. In a line-up where everyone looked great and there was a huge range of body types, she was number one! She was beautiful, feminine, and balanced and to top it all off she was one of the nicest people to talk to. Incredible.

 

I had girls I have been working with compete at this show as well. A first-timer Jess who dropped 35 lbs to step on stage at the entry level was thrilled and so cute up on stage. We're still waiting on results but it's possible she may have qualified herself for tier 2 in the next year which is the top Provincial level which is very exciting! Mel is a good friend whom I also worked with and came back to this show after having her baby. Her physique was awesomely balanced and conditioned, in fact she is the current Alberta Couples Bodybuilding Champ! In the Figure category her small frame was overpowered and I really think she was overlooked. In terms of the total package I think she really put it together well and looked incredible! Another friend who i did not train or diet but was fortunate to have her join my classes and offer herself in my group support system, Chantell, looked amazing and beautiful as well. She was the centre of the second set of callouts in the Tier two medium class and although she didn't place top five she brought a well-conditioned and very pretty look to the stage.

 

Alberta is a tough place to make it as a Figure competitior! The best of the best! Truly.

 

So now what? Well, what I DID actually do right for this show was get my hair and make-up right! Ha ha - if nothing else I got lots of compliments on looking pretty, so I guess that's something! My water, fat, carb process was another story as that did not fly the way it should have but you live and learn and do better the next time!

 

WBFF Calgary show in two weeks. At least this time it's two! I'm going to train hard, do a lot of cardio, but not do any maniacal loading processes! It's too much on the body. One of the silver linings to losing my bi to Nationals is that now the question of whether or not I have to be 'on my diet' in Europe is out of the question. I still want to feel and look good though, so I don't want to be a total glutton!

 

Thanks to everyone for their support, I am in good spirits so don't worry about me!

 

To my girls, I am soooo proud of you! You all rock, please remember what this is truly all about!

Weight: 152 lbs

 

I am just going with the flow on this one. Trying something new, seeing if this water retention will finally leave by Saturday and just letting go of any expectations!

 

I don't think I look great, I think I looked better last week, but I have had a really interesting week in terms of what my body has been doing and I think that even though my conditioning appearance and water looks off, I think my shape looks pretty darn good! I just might be a bit big for Figure this weekend. I'm okay with it though, this is part of the process, part of the journey, and part of the bigger picture.

 

The body is so fascinating and interesting, sometimes you have to relax, sit back, and appreciate it.

 

My girls Jess and Mel - you both are amazing and I am looking forward to being a part of your journeys this weekend. In 48 hours we'll be done this chapter! Wow!

 

Onto the next!

 

Weight: 151.5 lbs - afternoon

 

I had a GREAT sleep last night and I really needed it! I feel so much more together, it is amazing what some rest can do! I have another massive to-do list before this weekend, but since it is all for me and my family it doesn't feel daunting - just necessary!

 

I am depleting finally, the water retention is going away and since I won't be carb loading I should be just getting smaller and drier come tomorrow.

 

I am relaxed and not anxious about this particular show because I only have to do quarter turns, no routine. I have all of my stuff pretty much still packed and ready and anything could happen, I have come to terms with that. I could be first or last and it wouldn't be an utter shock. I am thinking more middle of the pack, but I really really don't know!

 

Pics are in the One-Piece from today, I am still water loading so I am not dry.

 

Weight: 153 lbs

 

I am so tired I want to throw up. I just finished all of my necessary work for tonight. I HAVE to go to bed, I am exhausted and feeling ravenous and anxious which will only lead to trouble if I stay up. No pics, I didn't take any this morning and I am not bothering now. I will take pics in the One Piece tomorrow and black two-piece on Thursday. Then I cannot believe I compete again!

 

Night!

Weight: 153 lbs - mid afternoon

 

I woke up swollen, bloated, and itchy! Typical of the post-contest flushing process. Usually I give myself a couple of days or even a week to flush out and feel back to normal. The problem is - I have another show in 5 days!

 

I am water loading and depleting all week. I would like to come down a bit smaller and maybe softer in my upper body and tighter in my legs and waist.

 

I did a depletion workout with high reps, hot yoga, and cardio today. Tomorrow is hot yoga, a leg workout, and running. I feel way better now than earlier in the day, and it makes me thankful I am in a position to get right back on track following my weekend.

 

This weekend I am risking my bi to Nationals by competing in Provincial Figure. To me, I am doing this show for my own personal experience and to see where my physique stacks up among well-trained Figure athletes. Physique is two rounds of Fitness and if I don't fall in the top 5 in a Figure competition then I need to use that to improve my physique for next season when I compete in Fitness again. It may hold me back from the next level in 2009 but I think it will take me to a higher level in years to come. I should be able to hack it, but there is a strong group of athletes in Alberta and you never know who will be on stage.

 

I am excited to be backstage with Mel and Jess. Both of these girls have worked super hard, been super organized, and made some amazing changes this year. Jess is doing her very first show and Mel will be onstage for the second time, but the first time since becoming a Mom! I won't be abe to observe too much of Mel unless I use my peripheral vision as she will be onstage with me! It'll be fun.

 

Also, I am in the process of agthering a group of girls looking to train in Figure, Fitness, or Fitness Model for an ABBA Classic show the first weekend of October. I have had a few girls take an interest now that contest buzz is going on and the contest experience is much less intimidating when there is a group. As a trainer I shifted gears for some of my girls who initially planned to compete in the summer. I have the utmost respect for the girls I train and if I honestly think we need more time for a better situation in which to compete I will find the best show for that. One of the nice things about training for an October show is now the summer can be a time to have some freedom but still remain in control and look good doing it. I really don't want to see someone sacrifice their health or diet too hard or too long for a show when we can just ease the body down in a more civil manner and do a later show.

 

And I am all about upping the ABBA Fitness numbers! My former gymnasts who want to get in on this, please contact me! It'll change your life!

 

Pics from today - Figure poses with the boring standard black bikini!

 

Not the win I was hoping for, but a well-deserved second place finish behind the inspirational and respectable Cindy Jones. She looked incredible as I knew she absolutely would and with two physique rounds and one routine round, her lower body conditioning was better balanced with her upper body than mine was and she took the title and the Overalls.

 

When you put everything into wanting to win something, it hurts when it doesn't happen, but you have to risk big to win big. I have watched Cindy struggle through many years of fitness to get this. She is a 40+ year old Mom of 2 with no gymnastic background who is the Provincial Overall Champion over me. And I came in with my best foot forward, no excuses. She truly won this with the greatest of dignity and in the greatest spirit of competition. What an amazing role model for Fitness in this province. Of course I wish I would have won, but I don't think there was any injustice with the final results and I am so very genuinely happy for Cindy.

 

I am exhausted from the weekend! My 18 year olf gymnast and client Stevie Brown placed 2nd in Fitness Short. It was great for her to finish this process and have the experience of going on stage. Lots of room to grow if she keeps going.

 

Another Fitness friend Marcella Cameron won the Master's Figure event. It was her very first show and she looked amazing and adorable. Very well-deserved and exciting!

 

I can't believe I am going through all of this again next week competing in Provincial Figure! Gotta make the most of a season though! This week will be a full deplete without a carb load diet-wise  to hopefully come in tight and smaller than I did in Fitness. I am going to cardio, hot yoga, and overwork my legs to try to bring them down as much as possible this week. We'll see what I can do in a week I guess!

 

I'll start with weight and pics tomorrow as I begin my next water load tonight. I haven't stepped on a scale yet and I am a little nervous!

 

Weight: 148.5 lbs

 

I am crashing right now trying to do all of mine and Stevie's last minute things before a very busy day right now. I don't feel in control, I feel like I am not going to get everything done, even though I know I will. I am getting anxious about the situation which makes me always second guess myself. I'm not in a good place, but it will pass when everything that needs to get done does. No second guessing now, no backing down. We're here, this is it.

 

My pics are from an hour ago while we were finishing securing our suits. I finished depelting and have started water dropping and carb loading. I feel soft right now.

 

 

 

Weight: 150.5 lbs

 

I am hours away from carb loading, days away from this show.

 

I want to win.

 

Not to the detriment of anyone else, of course. It certainly is an unfortunate situation that the numbers in fitness are dwindling. But I truly want to be the ABBA Provincial Overall Fitness Champion. The life I have right now has been so greatly affected by that first show I ever did with the ABBA.

 

In 2002, I looked soft and pear shaped with a bit of definition in my shoulders, huge quads, and a thick waist. I had a 'gymnasticky' routine where I wore a bad outfit and had to cheat my one-arm push-ups because I wasn't strong enough to do them. I placed low and had no clue what the heck I was doing. But I got out there. I had an experience that essentially changed me and brought me around to have an entirely new respect for the body, for nutrition, and for training.

 

7 years later I am stepping on stage again at the same show I started with. I am 7 years older, I am better than I think I have ever been in terms of my entire look and package. I have inspired and coached others to get on that stage or at the very least empower themselves and their health with better choices. And quite honestly I think I deserve this. If the judges don't agree I will be content with that. I really will. Because this isn't all about a title, it is about a journey and a lifestyle.

 

But the title would be nice!

 

Pics from today. Things are coming down like they should be. This water load made me nauseous today but I won't complain, because when I am super thirsty on Saturday morning backstage I will be wishing for this feeling!

 

And I got to see my costume in the works today! It's awesome! I can't wait!

 

Weight: 150.5 lbs

 

Yay. I could actually be in the 140s tomorrow! Way to be last minute!

 

So I am changing my mind on the two-piece again. My glutes and maybe a bit of hamstring actually came in today so now I want to go with the Purple suit! It should clean up even more before the show so I think with a bit of glue it will be an appropriate suit for me. The pics are from mid-day, so I don't have that morning 'dry' look. But there are still changes and my waist doesn't look as horrendous as it felt during the pics.

 

Boot Camps started up again today and I have a fantastic group that totally energizes me! I am all about marking progress so I did incorporate taking some measures today which I hope will allow people to see how far they can come in 5 weeks. It's not their 'ultimate' before and after, but we are always a work in progress and it's nice to see hopw things change across time.

 

I have a ton of work ahead of me tonight. A few diet plans I had put on hold need to be finished as well as some final organizational lists for this weekend.

 

Things really do come together when they have to! Even if I happen to be a stress mess in the process!

 

Weight: 152 lbs

 

Yes - 10 lbs since I weighed in after my water load yesterday. That's what a deplete does, it's fun in that sense.

 

I'm burnt... but still going! I have to - the show doesn't stop because I am having a hectic week so I have to find a way to make it all work.

 

The family is still sick. It's a bad week for me to be any help at all. I have overcommitted myself for this week to prepare for this show, plus I am carb-deprived which makes me a total useless wingnut. I am doing everything I can and figuring I can rest later on when this week is done, but it's hard and I am trying not to be a terrible mother in the process. Thankfully I had a good friend step in today and help me out with Michael, and Taso is still not feeling well but he should be on the mend tomorrow.

 

As well, the competitor list for Provincial Fitness was posted - the Tall class is between me and a friend of mine. That's it. To me, this is a crappy scenario - yes we will be one - two regardless, but in another sense, someone wins and someone is last. I know a lot of people are intimidated by Fitness and prefer to compete in Figure and you can really see how fitness is suffering. But I think the results are not going to acknowledge the quality of competitors that both Cindy and I are. Cindy has a prestine physique. That is her strength. She is courageous to do the routine because she has challenged herself to learn gymnastics in her late thirties and has overcome injuries to perform amazing strength moves and lifts. I'm a former gymnast whos SHOULD be doing a great routine, I've worked hard but I also am lucky to have the background I have. The physique round is my downfall and with two rounds of physique and one round of routine. The math is working against me.

 

There's nothing I can do. Fitness is a dying sport unfortunately and even the short class only has three competitors. That means my 18 year old troublesome first-time fitness competitor qualifies for Nationals! How about that? Wouldn't it be wild if it was her and I in the Overalls?

 

That thought alone will keep me on this carb-depleted crazy diet!

 

And it makes me wonder if I can at least hold on to the hope of having a two-week out physique while in Europe? Nationals are August 15, knowing that I already qualify puts the idea in my head.

 

Pics from today - almost where I want to be.

 

 

 

Taso is fine... has some stomach issues but is getting checked out and is doing much better! Michael is still 'fluey' but I took a day off work today to tend to him and he ended the day a lot better than he started it. Poor little guy! It was a not-so-glamorous Mommy day today with lots of diapers and bedding changes, but he's doing okay and that is all that matters.

 

Now for a fun comparison. I am water loading today and am up to 8 Litres a day that I HAVE to get in! This is to fully flush out my system as I carb deplete so that when I carb load starting Thursday and cut back on water, my skin should tighten up around my muscles as they fill. So for the next couple of days I might look a bit washed over and flat.

 

After chugging about 6 litres of water, I weighed myself (which could be a scary scenario!) I felt bloated and full of water like I was going to explode. I was 162. I then took pics right after at this weight in the same outfit as pics I have from last year when I got down to 162.5. These pics are at the same weight but obviously there is a marked difference in my body composition and conditioning. Even with my bloat today! It's interesting, last year I was pretty strict with my diet - but it was a basic calories restriction. Portion control, better chocies - but definitely not the 'clean' diet you need to do for a contest. Take a look - weight is not everything I guess!

 

 Stupid Uploading... I will try another entry!